Foot Notes

NOTE: This column started as a gimmick, a pun on the title, but developed into a format of writing I really enjoyed. I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve only read a few things written with footnotes[1], and I’ve always found them entertaining.

There are nine bowl games I care to watch – and that is stretching it in some cases – and sixteen bowl games in which I’ve never heard of the sponsor referenced outside of the bowl game.[2] Viva NCAA!

Anyway, here’s a quickie preview of each.

Insight Bowl: #12 Missouri (-1) vs. Iowa

Why do I like this seemingly meaningless game? It’s the first chance for me to see if I’m right about the Big 10. While I think the Pac-10 narrowly edges it as the best conference in America, the Big 10 is as good as it’s been since Ki-Jana Carter played there. Iowa is, despite its record, one of the best 15 teams in the nation (I would actually have them in the top 10). After the team realized the Big 10 title was out of reach, the Hawkeyes ended the year with three straight losses. I expect Kirk Ferentz[3] to rally his team and lead them to a comfortable victory over a vastly overrated Missouri team. Or maybe I’m just hoping for another amazing post-game interview from Iowa QB Ricki Stanzi (Video below. Trust me, it’s worth 40 seconds of your life.)

Iowa 27, Missouri 17

Capital One Bowl: #9 Michigan State (+10) vs. #16 Alabama

Pay more attention to the point spread than the teams’ rankings. Alabama is a top-five team on paper, while Michigan State has been overachievers. There are also, bizarrely, many ties between the two schools[4], despite their location and non-history of playing each other.

Will Alabama care about winning this game? Or will it be another case of, “Eff it, the season is a lost cause,” like when Utah embarrassed the Crimson Tide two years ago? If Alabama does show up, it could get ugly fast for the Spartans. But Mark Dantonio[5] will have his team ready and I would expect a fair amount of trickery in the biggest game in Michigan State history[6]. Plus, physical teams give Alabama problems, at least according to the most rational Alabama fan I know, Jordan Vickers[7].

Alabama 28, Michigan State 24

Gator Bowl: #21 Mississippi State (-5) vs. Michigan

This is the worst possible matchup for embattled Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez. He’s playing a team that is probably going to beat his Wolverines convincingly, but because of name recognition, the score will look embarrassing. I love watching Denard Robinson play, but Mississippi State already neutralized his doppelganger, Cam Newton. Mississippi State will run the ball at will.[8]

Mississippi State 38, Michigan 21

Rose Bowl Game: #3 TCU (-2.5) vs. #5 Wisconsin

I think this TCU team would have had the best chance ever of a non-BCS school winning a national championship game[9]. That doesn’t mean the Horned Frogs deserve to play for it, as I think Wisconsin will prove. But I can see myself taking a nap during this game. This game almost didn’t make the list of games I care about. Considering it’s two top-five teams, I think it’s fair to say this year was more diluted than the free drinks you get at the poker table.

Wisconsin 24, TCU 17[10]

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: #7 Oklahoma (-17) vs. Connecticut

If you had told me before the year that Oklahoma would be playing Connecticut in a bowl game, I would have bought the rights to www.firebobstoops.com. But Oklahoma is as good as anybody in the country when Landry Jones doesn’t turn into Jake Delhomme. It won’t matter if he turns into Jake Gyllenhaal[11] against the worst team to ever play in a BCS game.

Oklahoma 56, Connecticut 10

Discover Orange Bowl: #4 Stanford (-3.5) vs. #13 Virginia Tech

If the Big 10 had a conference championship game, Virginia Tech hadn’t blown the Boise game[12], and Auburn had failed to pull one of its miracles, this could be the national title game. Alas, it’s still worth watching, if only for the two quarterbacks. Andrew Luck is a future NFL superstar[13], but Tyrod Taylor is quite the college quarterback as well. He’ll keep them in this, but Stanford’s superior coaching[14] and intelligence will prove to be the difference.

Stanford 38, Virginia Tech 31

Allstate Sugar Bowl: #6 Ohio State (-3.5) vs. #8 Arkansas

Interesting for two reasons. Ohio State has played SEC teams in bowl games nine times and has lost nine times. This Ohio State team isn’t any better than most of those other nine teams.

I still think the Buckeyes will win, and that brings me to interesting reason number two. Ryan Mallett is a choke artist in big games against competent defenses[15]. I think he’ll challenge Mr. Leaf for the “Biggest QB bust named Ryan” award[16].

Ohio State 31, Arkansas 17

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: #15 Nevada (-9.5) vs. Boston College

Fun fact: This game will be played eight days after the first BCS bowls, and the day before the national championship game.

A lot of people will be rooting for Boston College in this game because of Mark Herzlich[17]. I can’t blame them because his story is the true essence of what makes college sports great. But I’ll be watching this game because it’s the last time I’ll ever get to watch Colin Kaepernick play quarterback, which has been one of the highlights of my life as a sports fan the past four years. It’s one of the benefits of knowing someone who lives in Reno[18], along with things like, “Hey I want to get a bet on the Packers to win the NFC but the best price I can find is 5-1,” and Bret then telling me he found them at 9-1. Go Pack. And Go Wolfpack.

Anyway, Boston College found some success in the ACC, but hasn’t seen anything similar to Kaepernick, Vai Taua and Chris Ault’s Pistol.

Nevada 45, Boston College 21

Tostito’s BCS National Championship Game: #1 Auburn (-3) vs. #2 Oregon

“We try to equalize before the other team have scored.” – Danny Branchflower.

That quote came from the man who captained Tottenham’s famous double-winning season of 1961, but it may as well have come from one of the head coaches involved in this game. A lot of people have said these teams are mirror-images of one another because, well, it’s true. There’s a reason this total is 74[19].

It’s not so much that these teams don’t care about defense, but, as a close friend and Auburn fanatic told me, “We don’t worry about stopping the other team. If they score, they score, but we get the ball. We just would rather they score fast.”

Well, don’t worry, they will. And you will. And they will. And you will.

I think the difference is that Oregon’s defense has the type of playmakers who can force turnovers from an often inaccurate Cam Newton[20]. And if Auburn continues its first half struggles, Oregon could be out of sight before the Tigers recover.

One thing is for certain. This year’s national champion will be the least deserving of that trophy since 2004, when LSU stole the national title from a far superior Oklahoma team[21]. However, these teams are more than capable of providing a highly entertaining game, even if it leaves a lot to be desired from a purist’s standpoint.[22]

Oregon 56, Auburn 45

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[1] Most recently was Bill Simmons’ The Book of Basketball, which I highly recommend. I’d feel worse about hijacking his format if he hadn’t jumped on the Tottenham Hotspur bandwagon five years after me.

[2] My personal favorite is the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl. Let’s just say if you’re watching this game on December 21, you have a gambling problem.

[3] Ferentz and Herb Sendek are the two most underrated coaches in any sport.

[4] Alabama coach Nick Saban used to coach Michigan State. Current MSU coach Mark Dantonio is a former Saban assistant. Alabama’s star running back Mark Ingram is from Flint, Michigan.

[5] How weird is it that there is a prominent coach named Mark Dantonio and a prominent coach named Mike D’Antoni?

[6] Not saying much. This is a school that has “Former MSU quarterback Jeff Smoker now plays in the Arena Football League” in the fifth paragraph of its Wikipedia entry for football.

[7] That’s about like saying, the hottest woman in West Virginia – which is appropriate since Jordan Vickers sounds like the name of a hot chick. By the way, almost every single woman in West Virginia is about 10 pounds too heavy, has something slightly off with her face and smells like a cigarette.

[8] ESPN’s take on its preview of the game? “(Mississippi State) boasts a better defense than Michigan.” Um, yeah. Alabama also boasts hotter women than West Virginia. Can you tell I’m somewhat bitter about this fact?

[9] That statement is more of an indictment against the “elite” teams this year than praise for TCU.

[10] Bet under 57 in this game. Unless, of course, you don’t like money.

[11] With his mustache and drawl, Landry Jones could absolutely play a homosexual cowboy in a movie.

[12] They would have never lost the following game. The Hokies could have played Power Hour three times the night before the James Madison game and been less hungover.

[13] A more athletic Sam Bradford. If the Panthers start winning and blow the #1 draft pick, they will regret it for the next 15 years.

[14] Assuming Michigan, Florida or some NFL team don’t do the smart thing and hand Jim Harbaugh a blank check.

[15] His performance in the fourth quarter against Texas A&M ranks right up there with the worst quarters I’ve ever seen by a supposedly good player. He had three interceptions dropped, an interception bizarrely ruled a completion, and he committed a personal foul penalty with under four minutes left that led to A&M getting the ball near midfield trailing by a touchdown.

[16] Coming in last? Ryan Fitzpatrick. I went to a Bills game last year and was blown away by how passionate and pessimistic their fans are. I’m glad they finally have someone worth watching. Yes, I know they’re 2-10.

[17] Another fun fact: I actually know a girl who turned down Mark Herzlich for a date.

[18] Another is knowing who Bryce Harper is years before the rest of the world. My friend actually coached against him and spoke about him like foot-long subs speak about Jared. He just DECIMATED them. P.S. - Harper is starting the season at Hagerstown, 15 minutes from where I currently live. Mmmm.

[19] And the game is going over that total before the fourth quarter starts.

[20] Don’t fool yourself. Passing efficiency numbers are meaningless. The play in the Alabama game where Newton threw the ball straight to Mark Barron and Terrell Zachary stole the ball for a 70-yard touchdown was a microcosm of Newton’s season.

[21] I’m biased, but watch the replay. Jason White was less mobile than Betty White. How he even played boggles my mind. It’s the one reason I smile but don’t join in on the jokes about him working at Wal-Mart, etc., etc.

[22] That wasn’t intended to have a double meaning, but I’m sure Mike Bianchi would take it that way.