For The Artist Formerly Known as Munch

You can't expect to send me a message like, "How do you break down the game? What are your thoughts?" and get less than a 600-word response. That said, an Auburn fan sent me that on Facebook, and this response was about 56 times too long to go on his wall. I typed this up in like 10 minutes, so it's not exactly my finest work of all time. But here goes ...

Both teams have a couple things strongly in their favor. We’ll start with Oregon. Auburn hasn’t played an elite quarterback this season, other than the quarter or so that Mallett played before he got hurt. I don’t think the Tigers will have any answer for Darren Thomas, who is basically a poor man’s Cam Newton (but not that poor, he’s better at running the option and at least as accurate a passer). I think Jeff Maehl (if you haven’t seen Oregon play, think Wes Welker) will have a huge game.

Oregon, on the other hand, plays in a conference stocked with elite QBs, and while Newton is a step above all of them except Luck, I don’t think they’ll be wowed. Another advantage for Oregon is their playmakers on defense. In all championship games, but especially one like this where there don’t figure to be many punts, turnovers are critical. Oregon has more guys who force them than Auburn does.

There’s two other things I’d worry about if I was an Auburn fan. My respect for Gus Malzahn – remember, I’m from Tulsa and my mom graduated from there, so I’ve been following him for a while – may have me overrating his value, but his head needs to be fully on Oregon. Despite the recent raise/extension, the rumors were out there and he SHOULD be getting a marquee coaching job, and I wonder if he is totally invested in this game. You would hope so, but it’s a concern, especially since the Oregon staff is, for my money, much better than the rest of the Auburn staff. Also, Auburn has had a problem falling behind early in games. If Oregon jumps out early, they’ll be almost impossible to come back on.

Auburn’s advantages kind of start there. They have played close games. Most people expect this to be close, and Oregon doesn’t have much experience in those situations (the bizarre game against Cal excluded). Of course, you can argue that Oregon would have never struggled with the likes of Clemson and Kentucky, but still, if the game is within a score in the fourth quarter, I think Auburn will have a tremendous advantage.

And I also think there is a good chance that Auburn can keep James and Barner in check. Obviously those guys are amazing athletes and will put up numbers, but they are speed backs, and the one good thing (other than Fairley) that you can say about Auburn’s defense is that they have plenty of speed.

Also, there is the possibility that Newton is a transcendent player. He’s obviously an exceptional player, but very, very seldom do we see a truly transcendent athlete. He could be that rare guy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he follows the footsteps of Vince Young (God, it hurts me to say that) and wins the game almost single-handedly against a superior team.

But I keep coming back to the fact that Oregon just destroyed a difficult schedule (All they do is WIN!). I think Stanford and Oregon are the two best teams in the nation and I rank Oregon turning a 21-3 deficit into a 52-31 win over the Cardinal as the most impressive performance since USC fell a touchdown behind Oklahoma and then overwhelmed them to the tune of 55-19 (FML). I just think Oregon has the better offense, better defense, better special teams, better coach, and they’ve played better teams. Everything about this game tells me Oregon will win a high-scoring game. Something like 56-45. But I’ve been wrong before.

No Moore

The Heisman Trophy needs to be abolished.

I’m not generally one for such grandiose, incinerating comments. OK, I am. But I don’t make this type of statement without a litany of background knowledge and at least some research.

Consider these three quarterbacks:

#1 – 193.0 passing yards per game, 136.92 rushing yards per game, 329.92 total yards per game

#2 – 235.83 passing yards per game, 98.67 rushing yards per game, 334.5 total yards per game

#3 – 199.15 passing yards per game, 108.38 rushing yards per game, 307.53 total yards per game

Only one of these quarterbacks is even going to New York for the Heisman presentation. It has to be #1 or #2, right? No, it’s #3. Not only that, #3, Auburn’s Cam Newton is considered the overwhelming favorite.

The case against #2, Nevada’s Colin Kaepernick, is that he played against weak competition. No argument here. But then why is Boise State's Kellen Moore – who played basically the same schedule, averaged 44.1 yards per game LESS than Kaepernick, finished with the same record and lost to Kaepernick head to head – invited?

The argument against #1, Michigan’s Denard Robinson, is that his team’s record wasn’t that good. Like it’s somehow his fault that his team didn’t worry about trivial things like holding opponents under 40 points per game.

But – and realize that the (well-earned in previous years) stereotype that SEC defenses are the nation’s best is wildly inaccurate this season – Robinson faced much more difficult defenses on a week in, week out basis. Newton faced only two elite defenses all year, Mississippi State and LSU. He did next to nothing against the Bulldogs and had a great rushing but poor passing game against LSU.

The Heisman is supposed to go to the most outstanding player in college football, and there’s really no rational way to argue that Newton was more outstanding than Robinson (The fact that the media, namely Herbstreit, gushes over him more is not a rational argument).

Look, Newton’s a winner. I don’t begrudge him his success. But if you switch him and Robinson, their teams’ records are probably the same. Throw in that Newton plays for the premier offensive coordinator in the country, and I find it shameful that Robinson will be watching Newton accept the Heisman on television.

This brings me back to the original point. The Heisman Trophy needs to be abolished. It was not awarded accurately last year, when Mark Ingram won the award despite not even being the most outstanding player on his own team (that would be Rolando McClain, who nearly killed Darren Sproles Sunday).

I would like to see the NCAA create the same award handed out in virtually every other sport, a Most Valuable Player Trophy. If we’re going to preclude players from teams with mediocre records and players who don’t play in major conferences, this award would at least make sense. Semantically, if not romantically.

I’d still vote for Stanford’s Andrew Luck, who is both the most outstanding and most valuable player in the nation. But at least Newton winning wouldn’t be a sham if the award were for the MVP (You know, until you consider that the history books will ultimately show this year’s Auburn team going 0-12).

The Heisman Trophy, as it is currently constructed, lends itself to being a popularity contest. Would changing it to an MVP award change that? I don't know. But at least there would be ways to justify abject travesties like Denard Robinson and Colin Kaepernick finishing below the likes of Kellen Moore.

Smokin’

Where there’s smoke, there’s not always fire.

One of my former neighbors was convinced I was fooling around with his girlfriend because we spent a lot of time together when he was gone and because we were close friends.

But really, that’s what it was.

I don’t think the same holds true for the world of sports. Quick checklist: Rose? Check. McGwire? Check. A-Rod? Check. Armstrong? Check.

In fact, when I think of every time I’ve ever had reason to think an athlete, coach or organization was doing something illicit, I’ve been proven right. The only possible exception would be the Duke lacrosse scandal, but I don’t think that proves anything other than that bitches will do anything for money and/or attention.

This brings me to Cam Newton. While I don’t care about Auburn too much – I don’t care if they win the national title or lose out, frankly – it’s a subject worth addressing.

Here’s what gets me. There are actually Auburn fans who don’t think Cam (or, more likely, Cecil) Newton took money from Auburn! Their reason for being indignant is usually something along the lines of, “Why is it just coming out now?”

Well, because investigative journalism isn’t an overnight process and that is usually what is required for the NCAA to open an investigation of their own. Southern California was put on probation THIS YEAR for a similar situation that happened involving Reggie Bush in 2005.

The other excuse from the outraged Auburn fans is that Mississippi State is jealous and hates Auburn.

Here’s the problem with that. Phil Fullmer hated Alabama and Bama fans said the same thing about him when Fullmer helped the NCAA expose Alabama for paying players. But, oh yeah, he was right. Do you know why he was right?

Because you don’t make up allegations to the NCAA. It’s career suicide and makes no sense for a program on the rise.

Remember, it was last year that Dez Bryant was suspended for a year for lying about having dinner with Deion Sanders. Bryant was able to recover to the tune of winning the ROYFPNNSB (Rookie of the Year for People Not Named Sam Bradford). A program, hell, an individual coach, would receive a much harsher penalty and could not recover for years.

All I ask is this, Auburn fans. Don’t be irrational. You (correctly, in most cases) think Alabama fans are irrational for their exaggerated claims of national titles and Bear Bryant’s coaching ability.

I’ve been told by someone with connections to Alabama that Julio Jones is “100 percent being paid to play for Alabama.” You know my reaction? I didn’t bat an eye. If I’m being honest, I’m quite certain that Oklahoma is paying several players. Even the most optimistic Auburn fan can’t be so holier-than-thou as to think the Tigers would not do the same to join those teams in the nation's elite.

Oh, and while I’m being honest, I did fool around with that girl a little. So yeah, where there’s smoke, there is fire.