The NHL used to be my favorite American sport. Then, in 2004-05, there was a lockout, and in an effort to regain fans, Gary Bettman – a man who can best be described as having the worst qualities of the commissioners of the three other major sports – and his cronies decided to make rule changes that led to dramatically increased scoring.
Don’t worry, this isn’t an NHL blog, you can keep reading. That is simply a historical lesson of the dangers of changing rules in a way which can alienate long-time fans.
Here’s the thing. College football is facing a crossroads. Because of the increasingly more complex spread offenses that are sweeping the nation, defenses can’t keep up. And that’s the understatement of the month.
I don’t want to sound like one of these old men who insists everything was better in his day. Hell, I still consider this “my day.” But Lou Holtz would be rolling over in his grave if he saw a national championship game with an over/under of 74.
I think we should look to Canada for the answer (There’s a sentence you’ve never read before and likely will never read again).
See, in the Canadian Football League, they get three downs. As in, a third-and-three is often a punting situation. Well, I recommend the NCAA institute the same rule.
On the surface, I can see how this sounds blasphemous. And one of the things I find most ridiculous in sports is a different set of rules in the college and professional versions of a sport.
However, in recent years, there is less and less similarity in the college and professional games anyway. The main difference is that NFL defenses are still on par with NFL offenses, while every time a college defense forces a punt, the players react as if they have just collectively lost their virginity.
Never mind what Auburn and Oregon did offensively this season on their way to Glendale. The 103rd ranked scoring offense scored 21 points per game. Duke scored over 25 ppg. Duke!
You’ve never heard of most of these guys unless you are a hardcore college football fan: Mikel Leshoure, Bilal Powell, Edwin Baker, Knile Davis, Jay Finley, James White, Isaiah Pead, Montee Ball, Ray Graham, Lamar Miller. What do they have in common? They all played in major conferences, averaged over 10 carries per game and over six yards per rush attempt. I mean, these aren’t even elite guys. Then there’s Alex Green, who is averaging 8.78 yards per carry.
Of the top 10 teams, the worst yards per pass attempt was by Oregon’s Darren Thomas, at 7.84. All he did this year was lead an offense that scored over 40 points ten times, over 50 points six times, over 60 points three times and over 70 points once.
That’s not how the game is meant to be played. It used to be that these numbers were reserved for video games. In this rare case, the rules must be changed to make the game more like professional football.
Four downs is too much. Even at three, scoring will be high. Games won’t be any less exciting. Just look to hockey, where the game has become so open it’s not worth watching.
NOTE: This column started as a gimmick, a pun on the title, but developed into a format of writing I really enjoyed. I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve only read a few things written with footnotes[1], and I’ve always found them entertaining.
There are nine bowl games I care to watch – and that is stretching it in some cases – and sixteen bowl games in which I’ve never heard of the sponsor referenced outside of the bowl game.[2] Viva NCAA!
Anyway, here’s a quickie preview of each.
Insight Bowl: #12 Missouri (-1) vs. Iowa
Why do I like this seemingly meaningless game? It’s the first chance for me to see if I’m right about the Big 10. While I think the Pac-10 narrowly edges it as the best conference in America, the Big 10 is as good as it’s been since Ki-Jana Carter played there. Iowa is, despite its record, one of the best 15 teams in the nation (I would actually have them in the top 10). After the team realized the Big 10 title was out of reach, the Hawkeyes ended the year with three straight losses. I expect Kirk Ferentz[3] to rally his team and lead them to a comfortable victory over a vastly overrated Missouri team. Or maybe I’m just hoping for another amazing post-game interview from Iowa QB Ricki Stanzi (Video below. Trust me, it’s worth 40 seconds of your life.)
Iowa 27, Missouri 17
Capital One Bowl: #9 Michigan State (+10) vs. #16 Alabama
Pay more attention to the point spread than the teams’ rankings. Alabama is a top-five team on paper, while Michigan State has been overachievers. There are also, bizarrely, many ties between the two schools[4], despite their location and non-history of playing each other.
Will Alabama care about winning this game? Or will it be another case of, “Eff it, the season is a lost cause,” like when Utah embarrassed the Crimson Tide two years ago? If Alabama does show up, it could get ugly fast for the Spartans. But Mark Dantonio[5] will have his team ready and I would expect a fair amount of trickery in the biggest game in Michigan State history[6]. Plus, physical teams give Alabama problems, at least according to the most rational Alabama fan I know, Jordan Vickers[7].
Alabama 28, Michigan State 24
Gator Bowl: #21 Mississippi State (-5) vs. Michigan
This is the worst possible matchup for embattled Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez. He’s playing a team that is probably going to beat his Wolverines convincingly, but because of name recognition, the score will look embarrassing. I love watching Denard Robinson play, but Mississippi State already neutralized his doppelganger, Cam Newton. Mississippi State will run the ball at will.[8]
Mississippi State 38, Michigan 21
Rose Bowl Game: #3 TCU (-2.5) vs. #5 Wisconsin
I think this TCU team would have had the best chance ever of a non-BCS school winning a national championship game[9]. That doesn’t mean the Horned Frogs deserve to play for it, as I think Wisconsin will prove. But I can see myself taking a nap during this game. This game almost didn’t make the list of games I care about. Considering it’s two top-five teams, I think it’s fair to say this year was more diluted than the free drinks you get at the poker table.
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: #7 Oklahoma (-17) vs. Connecticut
If you had told me before the year that Oklahoma would be playing Connecticut in a bowl game, I would have bought the rights to www.firebobstoops.com. But Oklahoma is as good as anybody in the country when Landry Jones doesn’t turn into Jake Delhomme. It won’t matter if he turns into Jake Gyllenhaal[11] against the worst team to ever play in a BCS game.
Oklahoma 56, Connecticut 10
Discover Orange Bowl: #4 Stanford (-3.5) vs. #13 Virginia Tech
If the Big 10 had a conference championship game, Virginia Tech hadn’t blown the Boise game[12], and Auburn had failed to pull one of its miracles, this could be the national title game. Alas, it’s still worth watching, if only for the two quarterbacks. Andrew Luck is a future NFL superstar[13], but Tyrod Taylor is quite the college quarterback as well. He’ll keep them in this, but Stanford’s superior coaching[14] and intelligence will prove to be the difference.
Stanford 38, Virginia Tech 31
Allstate Sugar Bowl: #6 Ohio State (-3.5) vs. #8 Arkansas
Interesting for two reasons. Ohio State has played SEC teams in bowl games nine times and has lost nine times. This Ohio State team isn’t any better than most of those other nine teams.
I still think the Buckeyes will win, and that brings me to interesting reason number two. Ryan Mallett is a choke artist in big games against competent defenses[15]. I think he’ll challenge Mr. Leaf for the “Biggest QB bust named Ryan” award[16].
Ohio State 31, Arkansas 17
Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: #15 Nevada (-9.5) vs. Boston College
Fun fact: This game will be played eight days after the first BCS bowls, and the day before the national championship game.
A lot of people will be rooting for Boston College in this game because of Mark Herzlich[17]. I can’t blame them because his story is the true essence of what makes college sports great. But I’ll be watching this game because it’s the last time I’ll ever get to watch Colin Kaepernick play quarterback, which has been one of the highlights of my life as a sports fan the past four years. It’s one of the benefits of knowing someone who lives in Reno[18], along with things like, “Hey I want to get a bet on the Packers to win the NFC but the best price I can find is 5-1,” and Bret then telling me he found them at 9-1. Go Pack. And Go Wolfpack.
Anyway, Boston College found some success in the ACC, but hasn’t seen anything similar to Kaepernick, Vai Taua and Chris Ault’s Pistol.
Nevada 45, Boston College 21
Tostito’s BCS National Championship Game: #1 Auburn (-3) vs. #2 Oregon
“We try to equalize before the other team have scored.” – Danny Branchflower.
That quote came from the man who captained Tottenham’s famous double-winning season of 1961, but it may as well have come from one of the head coaches involved in this game. A lot of people have said these teams are mirror-images of one another because, well, it’s true. There’s a reason this total is 74[19].
It’s not so much that these teams don’t care about defense, but, as a close friend and Auburn fanatic told me, “We don’t worry about stopping the other team. If they score, they score, but we get the ball. We just would rather they score fast.”
Well, don’t worry, they will. And you will. And they will. And you will.
I think the difference is that Oregon’s defense has the type of playmakers who can force turnovers from an often inaccurate Cam Newton[20]. And if Auburn continues its first half struggles, Oregon could be out of sight before the Tigers recover.
One thing is for certain. This year’s national champion will be the least deserving of that trophy since 2004, when LSU stole the national title from a far superior Oklahoma team[21]. However, these teams are more than capable of providing a highly entertaining game, even if it leaves a lot to be desired from a purist’s standpoint.[22]
Oregon 56, Auburn 45
[1] Most recently was Bill Simmons’ The Book of Basketball, which I highly recommend. I’d feel worse about hijacking his format if he hadn’t jumped on the Tottenham Hotspur bandwagon five years after me.
[2] My personal favorite is the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl. Let’s just say if you’re watching this game on December 21, you have a gambling problem.
[3] Ferentz and Herb Sendek are the two most underrated coaches in any sport.
[4] Alabama coach Nick Saban used to coach Michigan State. Current MSU coach Mark Dantonio is a former Saban assistant. Alabama’s star running back Mark Ingram is from Flint, Michigan.
[5] How weird is it that there is a prominent coach named Mark Dantonio and a prominent coach named Mike D’Antoni?
[6] Not saying much. This is a school that has “Former MSU quarterback Jeff Smoker now plays in the Arena Football League” in the fifth paragraph of its Wikipedia entry for football.
[7] That’s about like saying, the hottest woman in West Virginia – which is appropriate since Jordan Vickers sounds like the name of a hot chick. By the way, almost every single woman in West Virginia is about 10 pounds too heavy, has something slightly off with her face and smells like a cigarette.
[8] ESPN’s take on its preview of the game? “(Mississippi State) boasts a better defense than Michigan.” Um, yeah. Alabama also boasts hotter women than West Virginia. Can you tell I’m somewhat bitter about this fact?
[9] That statement is more of an indictment against the “elite” teams this year than praise for TCU.
[10] Bet under 57 in this game. Unless, of course, you don’t like money.
[11] With his mustache and drawl, Landry Jones could absolutely play a homosexual cowboy in a movie.
[12] They would have never lost the following game. The Hokies could have played Power Hour three times the night before the James Madison game and been less hungover.
[13] A more athletic Sam Bradford. If the Panthers start winning and blow the #1 draft pick, they will regret it for the next 15 years.
[14] Assuming Michigan, Florida or some NFL team don’t do the smart thing and hand Jim Harbaugh a blank check.
[15] His performance in the fourth quarter against Texas A&M ranks right up there with the worst quarters I’ve ever seen by a supposedly good player. He had three interceptions dropped, an interception bizarrely ruled a completion, and he committed a personal foul penalty with under four minutes left that led to A&M getting the ball near midfield trailing by a touchdown.
[16] Coming in last? Ryan Fitzpatrick. I went to a Bills game last year and was blown away by how passionate and pessimistic their fans are. I’m glad they finally have someone worth watching. Yes, I know they’re 2-10.
[17] Another fun fact: I actually know a girl who turned down Mark Herzlich for a date.
[18] Another is knowing who Bryce Harper is years before the rest of the world. My friend actually coached against him and spoke about him like foot-long subs speak about Jared. He just DECIMATED them. P.S. - Harper is starting the season at Hagerstown, 15 minutes from where I currently live. Mmmm.
[19] And the game is going over that total before the fourth quarter starts.
[20] Don’t fool yourself. Passing efficiency numbers are meaningless. The play in the Alabama game where Newton threw the ball straight to Mark Barron and Terrell Zachary stole the ball for a 70-yard touchdown was a microcosm of Newton’s season.
[21] I’m biased, but watch the replay. Jason White was less mobile than Betty White. How he even played boggles my mind. It’s the one reason I smile but don’t join in on the jokes about him working at Wal-Mart, etc., etc.
[22] That wasn’t intended to have a double meaning, but I’m sure Mike Bianchi would take it that way.
He didn’t like it because it was lazy (it was), but my bigger issue was with the overwhelming sense of self-righteousness.
Well, I think you’ll find that’s not much of an issue in my writings.
I turned 25 in May. Since then I have:
·Smoked pot over 100 times
·Had sex with a truly reprehensible person
·Fallen for an 18-year old
·Committed third-degree theft on multiple occasions (don’t ask)
·Driven drunk about a dozen times
Sadly – though I am, to quote Earl Hickey, “trying to be a better person,” – there are quite a few other things that could have made this list.
By the way, I’m four years older than Cam Newton and five years older than LaMichael James. Oh, and my life is more of the rule than the exception. People whose names start with “twenty” don’t make good decisions. Like, ever.
Is it fair for me to begrudge Newton and James for their transgressions? For that matter, is it fair to begrudge Lebron James for his behavior in the past six months? No and no.
See, it seems Lebron has been around forever. But he is … wait for it … 25. Twenty-five. What 25-year old wouldn’t go play with his close friends in Miami? What 25-year old would turn down almost constant guilt-free sex with the hottest women on South Beach?
For that matter, would Mike Bianchi? I mean, if he didn’t look like this. (I love the title of this article. And yes, the comment by "Razz" was mine.)
There is such expectancy in this current sports world where a 17-year old can be the first pick in the MLB draft. Today, the announcer of Spurs’ final Champions League group game (Group winners! Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotspur!) casually mentioned that today was Gareth Bale’s 100th appearance for Tottenham.
Gareth is 21 years old. He has indisputably been one of the best handful of players in the world this year, but his humbleness and loyalty is quite refreshing and rare.
Not just in the sports world, but in the world of all the young dudes.
The athletes who don’t live up to the old guard’s ridiculous expectations should still be cherished by those of us who realize that everyone makes mistakes.
I’m not generally one for such grandiose, incinerating comments. OK, I am. But I don’t make this type of statement without a litany of background knowledge and at least some research.
Consider these three quarterbacks:
#1 – 193.0 passing yards per game, 136.92 rushing yards per game, 329.92 total yards per game
#2 – 235.83 passing yards per game, 98.67 rushing yards per game, 334.5 total yards per game
#3 – 199.15 passing yards per game, 108.38 rushing yards per game, 307.53 total yards per game
Only one of these quarterbacks is even going to New York for the Heisman presentation. It has to be #1 or #2, right? No, it’s #3. Not only that, #3, Auburn’s Cam Newton is considered the overwhelming favorite.
The case against #2, Nevada’s Colin Kaepernick, is that he played against weak competition. No argument here. But then why is Boise State's Kellen Moore – who played basically the same schedule, averaged 44.1 yards per game LESS than Kaepernick, finished with the same record and lost to Kaepernick head to head – invited?
The argument against #1, Michigan’s Denard Robinson, is that his team’s record wasn’t that good. Like it’s somehow his fault that his team didn’t worry about trivial things like holding opponents under 40 points per game.
But – and realize that the (well-earned in previous years) stereotype that SEC defenses are the nation’s best is wildly inaccurate this season – Robinson faced much more difficult defenses on a week in, week out basis. Newton faced only two elite defenses all year, Mississippi State and LSU. He did next to nothing against the Bulldogs and had a great rushing but poor passing game against LSU.
The Heisman is supposed to go to the most outstanding player in college football, and there’s really no rational way to argue that Newton was more outstanding than Robinson (The fact that the media, namely Herbstreit, gushes over him more is not a rational argument).
Look, Newton’s a winner. I don’t begrudge him his success. But if you switch him and Robinson, their teams’ records are probably the same. Throw in that Newton plays for the premier offensive coordinator in the country, and I find it shameful that Robinson will be watching Newton accept the Heisman on television.
This brings me back to the original point. The Heisman Trophy needs to be abolished. It was not awarded accurately last year, when Mark Ingram won the award despite not even being the most outstanding player on his own team (that would be Rolando McClain, who nearly killed Darren Sproles Sunday).
I would like to see the NCAA create the same award handed out in virtually every other sport, a Most Valuable Player Trophy. If we’re going to preclude players from teams with mediocre records and players who don’t play in major conferences, this award would at least make sense. Semantically, if not romantically.
I’d still vote for Stanford’s Andrew Luck, who is both the most outstanding and most valuable player in the nation. But at least Newton winning wouldn’t be a sham if the award were for the MVP (You know, until you consider that the history books will ultimately show this year’s Auburn team going 0-12).
The Heisman Trophy, as it is currently constructed, lends itself to being a popularity contest. Would changing it to an MVP award change that? I don't know. But at least there would be ways to justify abject travesties like Denard Robinson and Colin Kaepernick finishing below the likes of Kellen Moore.
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