Cliff's Notes, Vol. 1

A list of unpopular opinions I have, ranging from the major to the mundane, followed by a short explanation. And we’ll start with a Cliff:

Neither the Red Sox nor Phillies will make the World Series. The Red Sox lineup is being talked about like the ’27 Yankees, but it’s hardly better than the current Yankees’ lineup. Carl Crawford is the most overrated player in baseball (but Gonzalez will be a beast). Their pitching staff is dreadful outside Buchholz. Cliff Lee is the pitching equivalent of Crawford, and Halladay and Oswalt are entering the downside of their careers. Hamels is wildly inconsistent.

Neither Angelina Jolie nor Scarlett Johannson is particularly attractive. I mean, once or twice, sure, but come on, there’s a reason both have been divorced. Neither is exactly pretty. Jolie looks too much like Joan Rivers and Johannson has a fat face.

The BCS is far superior to any proposed playoff. All the BCS does is provide us with the two most deserving teams playing for the national championship every season. A playoff would devalue the regular season and possibly give us an undeserving champion because of injuries which happened in extra games.

The Man City experience is helping the Premier League. The fear is that the Gay Bar’s reckless spending will buy them trophies, but so far, that is proving far from accurate. It is also forcing the hand of other teams, such as Spurs, who will almost certainly splash out cash on a world-class striker very shortly.

It makes more sense to wash your hands before you urinate than after you urinate. Of course this only applies to those who wash there in the morning and can successfully use the bathroom without pissing on themselves. But you touch hundreds of things during the day that are much dirtier than a body part that has been covered by clothing all day.

Either the Chargers or Colts will win the AFC. The two preseason favorites have been largely forgotten, but are rounding into form. Quarterback play will kill both the Ravens and the Jets (who also have highly overrated defenses) and the Patriots will almost assuredly have to beat San Diego and Indy back to back. I don’t see it.

Facebook will be irrelevant within three years. Too many people, even those who use it frequently, claim to hate it. Too many people talk about deleting their accounts. When something better comes along (and it assuredly will), it will go the way of MySpace.

“Show some respect to this living legend, this Hall of Famer … Arvydas Sabonis"

I do an amazing impression of the man on the right.

There are benefits to writing a blog instead of a syndicated column. One is what you are about to read.

See, I would be eviscerated for this column if it entered the national spotlight. I would be considered a woman-hater. While that may not be far off base, it’s not the case when it comes to athletics. I prefer women’s tennis to the men’s version (and not SOLELY because I enjoy watching the likes of Maria Kirilenko and Ana Ivanovic).

I’ll even watch the occasional women’s college basketball game. I’ve watched parts of two Baylor games this season, against Connecticut and against Tennessee. The latter prompted me to make my favorite joke of the year (Brittany Griner reminds me of a modern-day Wilt Chamberlain … not so much in how she plays, but more because she is a giant who is going to sleep with 20,000 women).

I also watch both college football and high school football. That doesn’t make them the same thing, which is why I find it so outrageous that people are talking about UCONN’s 88-game winning streak in the same breath as the UCLA teams of the early ‘70s that won 88 games in a row.

I mean, if people had spoken of De La Salle High School’s 151-game winning streak as breaking Oklahoma’s record for consecutive wins (47), it would have been laughed off, right? Well, you’d hope, but to me, that would have still made more sense than comparing UCONN’s women to UCLA’s men.

Ignore for a minute that the worst men’s college basketball team would obliterate the UCONN women. That’s not the point. I fully congratulate Geno Auriemma and his players for their accomplishment of beating other women’s teams.

But do you know why Auriemma has never taken a men’s college basketball job? Here’s a hint. It’s not because his current position is more rewarding from either a career standpoint or a financial standpoint.

It’s because the men play a completely different game. Different ball, different rules (You can use the whole shot clock to get the ball across half court. How stupid is that?) and different tactics.

Most damning, there is a completely different talent pool. See, this is something else that will sound chauvinistic, but if you are honest with yourself, you have to admit there are more good male college basketball players than female college basketball players. It’s not Maya Moore’s fault that this is the case, but most girls don’t grow up with a basketball underneath their pillow, to quote Cheech & Chong.

So while we should appreciate what the UCONN women have done, to compare them to the teams led by Sidney Wicks, Henry Bibby, Bill Walton (who I have always loved and will always love – I mean, who else uses a Walton quote for a title of a blog entry?) and Jamaal Wilkes and the competition they played is both blasphemous and ridiculous.

It has been over THIRTY years since a men’s college basketball team went undefeated. UCONN would have to go thirty years without losing to deserve a spot in history next to John Wooden’s great teams of the 1970’s.

Don’t be politically correct, be rational. Even if you’re a woman and that word isn’t a part of your daily vocabulary.