Cliff's Notes, Vol. 1

A list of unpopular opinions I have, ranging from the major to the mundane, followed by a short explanation. And we’ll start with a Cliff:

Neither the Red Sox nor Phillies will make the World Series. The Red Sox lineup is being talked about like the ’27 Yankees, but it’s hardly better than the current Yankees’ lineup. Carl Crawford is the most overrated player in baseball (but Gonzalez will be a beast). Their pitching staff is dreadful outside Buchholz. Cliff Lee is the pitching equivalent of Crawford, and Halladay and Oswalt are entering the downside of their careers. Hamels is wildly inconsistent.

Neither Angelina Jolie nor Scarlett Johannson is particularly attractive. I mean, once or twice, sure, but come on, there’s a reason both have been divorced. Neither is exactly pretty. Jolie looks too much like Joan Rivers and Johannson has a fat face.

The BCS is far superior to any proposed playoff. All the BCS does is provide us with the two most deserving teams playing for the national championship every season. A playoff would devalue the regular season and possibly give us an undeserving champion because of injuries which happened in extra games.

The Man City experience is helping the Premier League. The fear is that the Gay Bar’s reckless spending will buy them trophies, but so far, that is proving far from accurate. It is also forcing the hand of other teams, such as Spurs, who will almost certainly splash out cash on a world-class striker very shortly.

It makes more sense to wash your hands before you urinate than after you urinate. Of course this only applies to those who wash there in the morning and can successfully use the bathroom without pissing on themselves. But you touch hundreds of things during the day that are much dirtier than a body part that has been covered by clothing all day.

Either the Chargers or Colts will win the AFC. The two preseason favorites have been largely forgotten, but are rounding into form. Quarterback play will kill both the Ravens and the Jets (who also have highly overrated defenses) and the Patriots will almost assuredly have to beat San Diego and Indy back to back. I don’t see it.

Facebook will be irrelevant within three years. Too many people, even those who use it frequently, claim to hate it. Too many people talk about deleting their accounts. When something better comes along (and it assuredly will), it will go the way of MySpace.