Smokin’

Where there’s smoke, there’s not always fire.

One of my former neighbors was convinced I was fooling around with his girlfriend because we spent a lot of time together when he was gone and because we were close friends.

But really, that’s what it was.

I don’t think the same holds true for the world of sports. Quick checklist: Rose? Check. McGwire? Check. A-Rod? Check. Armstrong? Check.

In fact, when I think of every time I’ve ever had reason to think an athlete, coach or organization was doing something illicit, I’ve been proven right. The only possible exception would be the Duke lacrosse scandal, but I don’t think that proves anything other than that bitches will do anything for money and/or attention.

This brings me to Cam Newton. While I don’t care about Auburn too much – I don’t care if they win the national title or lose out, frankly – it’s a subject worth addressing.

Here’s what gets me. There are actually Auburn fans who don’t think Cam (or, more likely, Cecil) Newton took money from Auburn! Their reason for being indignant is usually something along the lines of, “Why is it just coming out now?”

Well, because investigative journalism isn’t an overnight process and that is usually what is required for the NCAA to open an investigation of their own. Southern California was put on probation THIS YEAR for a similar situation that happened involving Reggie Bush in 2005.

The other excuse from the outraged Auburn fans is that Mississippi State is jealous and hates Auburn.

Here’s the problem with that. Phil Fullmer hated Alabama and Bama fans said the same thing about him when Fullmer helped the NCAA expose Alabama for paying players. But, oh yeah, he was right. Do you know why he was right?

Because you don’t make up allegations to the NCAA. It’s career suicide and makes no sense for a program on the rise.

Remember, it was last year that Dez Bryant was suspended for a year for lying about having dinner with Deion Sanders. Bryant was able to recover to the tune of winning the ROYFPNNSB (Rookie of the Year for People Not Named Sam Bradford). A program, hell, an individual coach, would receive a much harsher penalty and could not recover for years.

All I ask is this, Auburn fans. Don’t be irrational. You (correctly, in most cases) think Alabama fans are irrational for their exaggerated claims of national titles and Bear Bryant’s coaching ability.

I’ve been told by someone with connections to Alabama that Julio Jones is “100 percent being paid to play for Alabama.” You know my reaction? I didn’t bat an eye. If I’m being honest, I’m quite certain that Oklahoma is paying several players. Even the most optimistic Auburn fan can’t be so holier-than-thou as to think the Tigers would not do the same to join those teams in the nation's elite.

Oh, and while I’m being honest, I did fool around with that girl a little. So yeah, where there’s smoke, there is fire.